You can reverse the rule of matching and leading when your frame or reality is stronger than the other person. Instead of matching another person before leading, you can stay strong and lead while causing the person to match you instead. Having a strong reality aligns the other person’s perception of reality with yours and your reality becomes his/hers.
 
Controlling the frame or reality is opposite of the Tao. It is to control instead of aligning and redirecting. Although there has been a debate going on for ages between using the Tao and using Control, the principle of polarity states that all truths are but half truths. The way of the Tao and the way of Control are both aspects of the whole. You can use both together in ways that are appropriate. The two can be integrated.
 
To control the frame is to define the underlying meaning of an interaction. In every interaction, there is an underlying meaning taking place in the minds of those involved. He who controls the frame controls the interaction.
 
Have a Strong Reality. Suck others into your reality. Pull them into your story. Be congruent. Have a Strong Frame. Do not buy into their frame, make them buy into yours. Reframe their frame and out-frame them. If your frame is strong enough, you can get away with anything.
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When you stay strong and lead, the other person will match you. Always have strong thought waves to be a presiding force in your reality. Strength of thought is strength of mind. Powerful thoughts creates powerful states. A person with a stronger mind and more powerful thought waves will attract other minds to his own. Other people will gravitate towards his ideas and follow his thoughts.
 
Leading first and then matching is breaking rapport in order to gain rapport. The way of the Tao is when you want to shorten something, first stretch it. When people sense differences in the interaction at first, they will be more inclined and open to looking for similarities after.
 
Frame control of reality is a form of mind control. This power of mind control can be used for either good or evil.
 
To use it for good is to pull people towards a frame of truth when they are tossing in a frame of error. It is to bring order when they are in chaos. It is to stay on course when they are all over the map. You have to enforce your reality over theirs when they are stuck in confusion. They need someone stronger than them to help them because they cannot help themselves.
 
Using frame control for good is also to Be a Helping Mind. When others are trapped in a negative frame of mind, they are in a vortex of negative thoughts that creates a self perpetuating negative reality. The vortex would pull the minds of everyone else around them to believe in their negative reality and thereby adding strength to further increase its seemingly unbreakable existence.
 
When you have the awareness to see this happening, you have the power to refuse allowing your mind to be suck into believing the reality they are creating, but instead choose to believe the opposite. By choosing to see abundance instead of lack, freedom instead of limitation, hope instead of despair about their situation, you become a source of psychic influence that brings positive force in affecting their reality for the better in the midst of all negative forces.
 
To you use it for evil is to pull people towards a frame of error instead of truth. Some people with strong will and strong personal magnetism use frame control to make people see things the way they want them to see, in ways that benefit themselves but not the other person. When they are in the wrong, they will make it seem like it is the other person who is at fault but they themselves are blameless.
 
They make themselves appear as righteous, mature and proper while making the other person appear bad, immature and improper, when the truth is actually the other way around. They will reframe the behaviors and intentions of the other person to the point that it causes them to have a really warped and distorted perspective of what was really happening. By doing so, they make people stupider and more ignorant because of their terrible deceptive use of frame control.
 
The whole reason why they do this is for the purpose of serving their own egoistical, selfish, self-serving and self-centered needs. Their nature is to put only their own needs and wants into consideration without caring about another person’s needs except in regards to how it would serve their own.
 
Such people are people of bad influence. They are bad influence not just in the usual sense of influencing you to think or do bad things, but because they have a negative influence on your Self Esteem. Being with them diminishes your sense of self because they think highly of themselves and lowly of others. It is oppressing and suppressive. The reason why some of us still choose to be with people of strong evil influence in spite of the harm is because, it makes our ego feel bigger.
 
It is an Ego to Ego thing, but it does nothing good for our self-esteem. By associating with them, we feel we are like them, just as “big”. We apparently “feel stronger” when we are in the presence of their strength, all the while hiding the true fact that we really feel weaker and are made weaker on the inside. When you leave them after an interaction, you would feel your energy levels decrease and although you gain certain egoistical satisfaction, you do not experience true inner happiness and fulfillment.
 
Beware when you come into contact with people of strong mental influence but have the tendency to use it in ways that are not fully beneficial to you. Stay strong and do not allow the other person to influence your perception of the situation. Maintain control of your own perspective. If such people are more harmful than it is worth spending your energy dealing with, break away from them.
 
When you stay strong and deny their influence over you, all of a sudden they might start losing their cool because they find that they cannot control over you like before. They get frustrated because their power seems not be having any effect on you that it normally does with others. Realize this is completely natural as their ignorance is causing them to suffer. They are so used to having their way that when it doesn’t happen, they will keep trying and their efforts will be in vain.
 
Using the Tao means spending your energy where it is most effective. It is always better to focus your efforts on changing things that are less resistant to change than things that are highly resistant. Keep your reality clean of strong evil influences by severing them out or by avoiding them as much as possible. Use your energy in reshaping weaker ones instead, as well as to connect with good influences as much as possible.
 
To use the way of control and the way of Tao in harmony with each other, is the Greater and complete Tao.
 
Have a Strong Positive Reality by keeping Control of the Frame and using it for good instead of evil, always moving other people’s perspective towards that which truly benefits both sides in the best possible way.[/hidepost]