The only thing that wins or causes love is personality. If you have distinctive personality, you will be loved whether you have physical beauty or not. Your personality may have flaws and not be entirely beautiful from an artistic point of view, but if you are an advancing soul, not only is somebody going to love you but in time to come everyone will love you. Love is the energy of life, and one who has more life in them attracts more love from others. Love motivates you to become a better person for those you love.

What everyone seeks is more of life, larger existence and more complete living. We are always drawn to someone who is living largely and completely, and one who has an advancing personality. Such is the meaning of being bright, lively, cheerful, fun, carefree, interesting, exciting and positive. The essence is that this person expresses live fully. No one is attracted to someone who is dull, dreary, miserable, boring, unhappy and negative. People want more life and not less. Those who give it are the loved.
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The desire for advancement into fuller life is fundamental within us, and we cannot help loving those in whom we see the larger life. Therefore if you want to attract more love into your life, you simply have to work on yourself in becoming better in every way. Develop your talent, build your success, express your creativity, and enrich your life in as many ways as you can. One who does these things cannot help but be admired and awed in the minds of others. You attract love by what you make yourself as.

Remember that if you are to be loved it will always be for the stronger points in your personality and never for the weak ones. You may be pitied for your weakness but you will be loved for your strength. Never make the mistake of seeking to gain genuine affection by sighs or complaints. It is not to be won that way. Never make the mistake of trying to buy genuine affection by gifts or service. It may come but only in response to the perception of the greatness of character that lies behind the gift and the service.

To be a personality of power is to always be loved. There is a science of winning love and the essential part of this science consists in making the very most of yourself. Since your life’s happiness must depend upon the happiness and harmony of your love relationships you should pay attention to winning love. Love is an effect and like causes always produce like effects. You can learn how to win the love of others by cultivating within yourself that which must unfailingly attract the love that is from others.

The cause of love is always something in the person being loved. One person does not love another unless he see something to love in that other. Love is always won, or attracted by the person who is loved. Love cannot be bestowed at will. You cannot love everybody. You may feel benevolent good will toward everybody, but that is not love. You can only love those who from your point of view, are lovely. You love those who attract your love or win it. You cannot love those who do not attract love from you.

Never make this mistake of trying to win love by slavish service to others. The spirit of service is a great thing, but the slavish spirit is contemptible. Do not “run after” any person, or “wait on” any person, with a view of winning love by doing so. You cannot win love by service. You can only win love by being something. You do not make people love you by the number of things you do for them. If they love you, it will be for what you are. Let who you are behind what you do be the thing that attracts the love.

If you wish to be loved, you must live your own life, and the more full and complete the life, the more love you will win. You cannot win and retain love by pretending to be something else other than yourself, for your true self must be discovered some day. To win and retain love, you must be yourself, and your best self, and the more you are your best self, the more you’ll be loved. What you must do is to make the most of yourself for others. Serve in a way that others need and be that something that is loved.

You can see how the act of winning love is being done naturally between two people in dating. The man makes the most of himself. He wears the best clothes he can get, and tries in every way to present an attractive personality. If he sees faults and weaknesses in the girl he is attracted to, he does not call her attention to them, or try to correct them. Instinctively he knows to focus only on the good points of himself as well as of her. He makes the very most of himself, so that she will desire to please him.

He knows that if he can make himself worth pleasing, she will do her best to please him. By being something himself, he makes her be something in order to attract and win him. The rule works both ways. The more she makes of herself, the more anxious he becomes to win her. They continually try to improve themselves, to develop new powers, new beauties, and new attractions. They live the advancing life in their effort to win and hold each other’s affection. This is the secret to creating marital happiness.

If you desire the love of any person, you must address your own love to that person, for love begets love. Action causes reaction. Address your love to the person, but do not try to influence, compel, or purchase that love, win it. You can only win the love of any person by developing within yourself something that is loveable. All persons are not attracted by the same characteristics, but if your love is for real, you’ll be instinctively led to develop in yourself those things catered to winning the love of that person.[/hidepost]