A common reason for a girl to break up with a guy is that he was too much of a follower. A woman’s mood may constantly change, and she has a lot of whims. If the guy follows her whims, she’ll lose attraction for him. A woman will say and do things based on a negative emotion she’s feeling at the moment, and if you react the wrong way, she’ll lose attraction for you. Although a woman’s mood fluctuates, it’s up to you to have a calm, stable inner state so that she too can feel calm, stable and safe with you.

The first step to regaining your power after a woman has left you is to break out of the state she wants you to be in right now. What does she want? Since she’s broken up with you, she wants you to feel lost and lonely. That way you are completely unattractive to her and she can feel okay with her new life without you. She wants to have no reason to be with you anymore. She wants you to be the repulsive beta male. This is the secret psychology of human beings. Knowing how we think gives us great power.
[hidepost]
But if you’re not lost without her, she’ll lack emotional validation of knowing she controls you. She will start to be the one who feels lost without you instead. She wants to know you’re grief-stricken. But you want to make her think that you’ve moved on and are completely happy with your life. It drives a woman crazy if she dumps a guy and he’s completely cool with it. Very rarely is a woman certain that a relationship is over, especially if she’s dated a guy for longer than six months. Uncertainty is a key part.

One minute she hates your guts and wants you to die. The next she cries her eyes out because she’s thinking back to the good times you had together. Then she’ll try to keep track of you to see what you are doing. Then she’ll feel confused, wondering what went wrong. And sometimes she will feel extremely fond feelings for you. She will want you back and think you are the perfect man and she cannot live without you. She will fight the urge to call you. Then one minute later she’s back to hating you again.

There is a struggle between her logic and feelings. You must realize that there are two parts of a woman’s mind that you must satisfy, which are her logical and emotional aspects. Once you re-attract her, her emotions are going to make her want to get back with you. However, she’ll only be comfortable with the decision if she can logically justify it to herself as well. So the logic that you want going through her head is “he’s really trying this time.” Always attract emotionally and justify logically for completion.

When either one of you reinitiates contact after a certain period of separation, the woman is going to be curious at this point. She’s going to ask you questions and talk to you in a way to investigate whether you’re feeling lost. Virtually a hundred percent of women do it. The way it is structured is that she will say something to find out how you feel. You need to respond to her investigation for feeling lost by conveying that you are an upbeat and happy guy. Show that you are cool and centered in your reality.

Most of the time, she will put out a feeler to see whether you’d be interested in ever giving your relationship a second chance. Almost all guys screw this up by giving an enthusiastic “Yes!” at which point the woman has all the power and feels the joy of validation from that. Then all of a sudden the guy hears the girl tell him she’s “busy” and needs to go, but “we’ll talk more sometime.” Don’t say yes, because it’s too soon. You haven’t yet conveyed the attractive new you, so she hasn’t become re-attracted yet.

Instead tell her, in a relaxed tone of voice, “I think it’s too soon to be talking about that yet.” Then proceed with your conversation. Just have a normal conversation. Ask her what she’s been up to. Tell her what you’ve been up to by giving her one or two of the stories about how great your life has been and how much things have changed for the better for you, in order to convey attractiveness. That way she’ll see how happy and unaffected you are. Then end the interaction by leading her with a meet up at your will.

You have the responsibility to lead. You must lead in everything you do together. Going out to a restaurant and movie? You decide. Having sex? You decide. You are the big, strong man in your woman’s life. Lead in everything that the two of you do together. Take her opinions into consideration when making choices. Don’t make her do things she does not like. The best way to do it is to give her a choice of two or three options selected by you for her to choose from. You can even use magician’s choice.

As the alpha male, you must be self-sufficient when it comes to your own emotions. You cannot depend on the woman to support you emotionally. She gets her emotions from you, not the other way around. A lot of men screw up by trying to get emotional support from their girlfriend. It causes her to lose attraction for him. Have friends to give you emotional support. Your job is to give her emotional support, never the other way around. While your woman is emotional, be the calm, stable center of her world.

The most common way for a guy to kill a relationship is by being overly needy. When a man has no interests, hobbies, or ambitions in his life, his woman feels stifled. Women find it sexy when a man is independent. You have your own hobbies, ambitions, and interests outside the relationship. You can make yourself happy. You don’t need her. However, the opposite is not true. She’ll love you forever if you make her happy. Men who are successful with woman and all else are their own source of power.[/hidepost]