Memory is tied to emotion. We usually remember a situation not because of the facts but because of the how we felt when it was happening. All our thoughts that we had took place together with the emotions we were experiencing. When we want to talk about it to whom it may concern, we want to do it at the time when we were still able to feel the emotions vividly. That is why your emotions are more real than your thoughts. Your feelings are more intelligent than your purely rational and emotion lacking thoughts.
The fallacy of not engaging in communication or to talk it out until a certain amount of time has passed in order to “cool off” is that, those emotions will no longer be as readily felt and therefore whatever you wanted to say is no longer are clear as before. This time, the conversation is no longer as authentic as it would have been if it was allowed to take place when you were still feeling the emotions, because you are not able to say all that you wanted to say. It has to wait until the next time some of the things you didn’t talk about took place again and it triggers the same emotions, then are you able to remember and talk about it.
Don’t you see the incredible stupidity of this? Those who are afraid and too weak to engage in emotional conversations cause the same patterns of undesirable events to happen over and over again because every time the parties involved are feeling the emotions, they don’t want to talk about it. They’d rather wait until another time when the emotions are less strong so that they can talk about it in a less emotional way. The advice of “let’s talk about it after we have cooled off” just doesn’t cut it, especially when it comes to the fact that emotions are the essence of the communication. You should talk about it when you are feeling it! What is there to talk about when you no longer feel it? Other than the usual “Oh, it’s ok now”, “what’s past is past”, “I can’t really remember everything I wanted to say”, there is absolutely nothing!
Can you feel the emotions of how stupid this really is? Well, that is how you will remember all these insights. Sometimes the “common wisdom” of the world may not be truly that wise after all.
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